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January 1998

golly am i just that sad and am i such a fucking loner that i am sending the first to the list???? oh well boo hoo i'm first and your not nerrrr

I suggest we say the same for 97:

Don't feel down. '97 must RULE! DUDE, FUTURE...IT ROCKS!

MESSED UP in my little head HERE....

I wrote 97....but i was OF COURSE thinking of 98...

So anyways, what's been going on on the list? Who let him out of the asylum? Who or what is everyone flaming now?

Until then, I'll just carry on with my mission to convert Hard Rock Cafe into a Jeff-playing place (can you believe that they actually played Last Goodbye?).

Celebrate. Be merry. But don't drink and drive. Smoke pot and fly home.

HAppY nEW yEAR!!! e'erywon! HeE HEe HIc! HeE!
JUst an AtTEmpt To POst aNd wisH yOU aLl a VEry MerRy, so'y, HapPy New YEar. CHEERS!

I've stripped Elton John of his Knighthood and given it to Lloyd Cole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent, hey?

Just go to and ponder the fate of humanity.

He will be "Miss Davidson" to you, Mr Annese. Only I am allowed to call him
Miss Dearly.

Well, can I call him Miss Appropriate?
Miss Teriousways xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

How 'bout "Miss Appropriation?

I don't really have anything to add - just wanted to sign off as ..Miss Nomer

Wait a minute I didn't mean Miss Dearly I meant missed dearly.

Indeedy...but only if I can remain
Miss Fit

hehe but i can think of lots more...let's see, who should i be...:
Miss Chievous
Miss Demeanor
Miss Fortune
Miss Hap
Miss Nomer
Miss Take
Miss Ogyny (noooooooo!)
Miss Ogamy (perhaps ;)
Miss Tress
Miss Tique
or..........Miss Issippi :(

Of course you can petal - and I wanna change my name to Miss Anthrope.

I always thought that Miss Demeaor was most appropriate for all you bad apples out there......

Happy *thank fuclin god it is here* New Year, everyone

Cancer? All this time I'm smoking I've been sucking in cancer? Damnit! All this while I thought I was sucking helium! No wonder my voice sounds funny all the time.

dear M*****: thank you so for taming this crazy beast of a list. Just wondering
if this is a technical screw-up or not. Perhaps...everyone has abandoned this
little club for a chance at living life in the Real World? Wouldn't that be strange.
No posts for a day and I'm concerned.

Spooky. Puff, you Da Man. [cough]

> Jumping on bandwagons, getting nice price deals for Grace, CLEO lists
> about what's cool- GREAT! Enjoy! Whatever blows your skirt up!

I have 4lbs of C4 and I'm not afraid to use it [*]

> Someone fight me on this- If it makes you happy, and no one is hurt by what you do, DO IT.

No, no, no, no NO. All opinions must first pass through a series of pop ethics committees, before being tested against the Politically Correct Methodology (Q001274, _Document_For_Making_Documents_Longer_Than_ _They_Should_Be_), Socially Aware Methodology (Q001278b) to ensure all posts are dolphin free and made of only recycled electrons[**], and be run past the Ministry For Reconciliation to be aligned with at least one special interest / minority group. Only then will you be able to act on your own volition [***].

> To the best of my knowledge, once matter is created...

Matter of course cannot be created or destroyed. Sorry to be a pedant.

> There is quite a difference between disrepect and substantiated opinions.

You're full of shit. Everyone says so.

> True true, everyone is entitled to his own opinion, and to deny a person
> that feels the above way about JB is as wrong as denying the person who
> feels he is a deity and Mrs. Guibert should be canonized.

I have a small altar on my western wall with idols of Jeff and Mary. I'd make an allusion to virgin birth here but it would destroy the Tim Buckley connection. Reminds me of some graffiti I once saw - "Christmas cancelled / Joseph admits"

I'm pleased to see however that you acknowledge males are the only ones allowed opinions.

Two new words invented by A***** in this post:
* congratufuckinglations
* bigfuckingdeal
I'll be sure to let the people at Oxford Publishing know.

Here's to a year of greed, sloth, gluttony and avarice, R*****

There is truly no escape from the evil emperor and his cold embrace.

And isn't that stoopid noise when you start up windows 95 the most annoying sound in the fuclin universe?

My friend told me they are going to start shooting a film on Jeff's life soon. Jeff would be played by Ethan Hawke.



Who would watch it?
The kind of people who do shitty mythical unrepresentive
overdramatised projects like these are interested solely in commercial gain.
...not me but I'm sure there are lots and lots
oh fuck it

This absolutely cannot be true. Please, God, no...can you imagine the sleazy horror?...Grace..The Movie. I cannot handle dear Ethan, the greasy Gen X thespian, playing the greasy Gen X pop martyr. Could you imagine the contrived smouldering musician intensity (Ethan-style), complete with artfuly crumpled plaid shirts, and....God, no!
Would he be lip-synching, too? Who will play Rebecca? Mick? Micheal? Oh, I can just Imagine the pouty little up-and-coming ensemble. Can I play the love interest? Oh, pretty please. No, this is wrong. That boy must have been ill-informed, Michael. No no no. Will they put out a soundtrack, too? Ha.Sick. No. Lies.
notsurewhethertolaughortocryhysterically, C*****

Here in NYC, we have a generic question in response to your question. It involves selling you a bridge, M******.

excuse me but i thought val kilmer did a very good job!!
long live val kilmer.

I never took the rumour seriously, though it did instill horrors into me that were simultaneously hilarious and sick. I was just going along with the joke, as a joke it honestly Must Be...'s a crazy, twisted, grave-robbing world sometimes; at least we have laughter.

(Ethan Hawke? Never!)

Man, he'd be laughing...
as for ethan hawk, or anyone else who would try to "act" like Jeff I have sick mental pictures)
...I will surely plan an assassination! :0

this lack of capitals for the month of january is already getting on my nerves. i may have to lead a revolt. . .

Subject: [JBEL] NoJB - Bitchworld!!

I wanted to jump in first and buzz 'Horny Bitch'. Okay?! ;D

Can I be Silly Bitch? :)

>There will be more.

"I Will Always Hate You"
"The Bitch Is Back"
"The Bitch"
"Bitchy, Bitchy, Bitchy"

it was already organised! you promised! it was in the bag!
i even gave up 'queen bitch' for that title!
no fair!

*super bitchy pout*


Bitch Grrrrrrrrlz
I like it!!
Bitch Power!!!
appeals to all the trainee bitches with braces and pimples

Although I think you've left some out
Bitch from hell
Slut bitch
Cradle snatcher bitch
Chemical bitch
Alcoholic bitch
or even Bitch Bitch

Dear Mr Svengali
Please consider my application for a position in Bitch Grrrrrlz.
Enclosed is my curriculum vitae.
Thank you for your attention
I look forward to your positive response
yours sincerely

I VOWEL you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall :)


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