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dara's story...

Okay, so I've been informed that you guys do want to hear my long "how i met jeff" story (stories), so here goes.

My friend Fatin (also a subscriber) and I decided to go to a Velocity Girl show at a place called Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ (go there if you're ever in the area-great place! wanted to move in there for awhile). A band with the name Sunny Day Real Estate was opening up for them and I clearly remember Fatin and I standing outside of Maxwell's looking at the list (they posted the list of upcoming shows on the outside double doors) to see who was going to open up for VG now that we had the tix, and laughing at the name because it sounded so funny! Sunny Day Real Estate! Haha!

Well, we were excited for the show anyway (we were-or at least I was-obsessed with going to as many shows as possible and seeing any band that I'd barely heard of). I was doing a 'zine at the time with my writings and poetry which had my name and address on them. I brought a camera to the show so I could take pix for the next issue of my 'zine which I had decided to make less personal and more music related b/c no one wrote to me (well not no one as you will see). So I went into the show and was won over by the amazing SDRE! I didn't even want to see VG after that (well, actually I did b/c I was curious to see them live). I couldn't believe how the band just hypnotised me! I understood sex, drugs and rock & roll, or I had thought I did, but I had just been thinking of it in a Mick Jagger and Madonna wink wink type of sexuality. I was amazed by how this band had just so much sexuality to them that was not forced. It very much had to do with a love of music on theri part and a love of performance. They were definitely the type of band that I think get off from performing. So I took a lot of pictures, especially of the lead singer just because he was also quite amazing, he was right in front of me, and yes, because he was (and still is) gorgeous.

Well, they ended and VG came on (actually i sat next to Sarah Shannon on the stage for like 5 minutes and couldn't think of a single thing to say-still thinking of SDRE I think) and then they were done (not even half as amazing as SDRE-sorry). I talked to Jeremy a bunch afterwards b/c this girl named Lizzy started talking to me b/c she wanted to get copies of the pix I was taking and so I was talking to him "for her." Well after I talked to him, and Dan and Nate And William (Wm. is a flirt but really cute in person and very funny to watch while drumming-look at all the faces he makes) I went outside the concert hall (there's a restaurant there too) and started talking to some guy along with my friend when who should I spy not ten feet away but Juliana Hatfield. So I went over to talk to her. I wasn't like "wow!" b/c I had just met Evan D. recently at a signing (so cheesy I know, but hey I couldn't resist. He signed a picture I drew of him. We were the first to see him with buzzed hair. Real reason it was buzzzed? He and a friend got drunk and decided to buzz his hair-May 17 was the day of that signing, the day before he went to Cali for the MTV Beach thing)) and I actually disliked Juliana a lot at that point b/c she had recently been on the cover of Spin (long hair, white background) and she had said that she knew of no girls that could play guitar well and my feminism was offended. So I went up to her with the attitude of "oh well, another famous person to add to my collection." She was nice though and she took my 'zine and I asked her if she was here to see VG and she said "No, SDRE." Well, that was about it. Imagine my surprise when one day my mom hands me my mail and the return address says J. Hatfield. No, I'm not kidding. She asked me for copies of the pix of Jeremy which I sent to her and she wrote a lovely little note in reference to my 'zine. Suckered! I liked her now! (I also reread that article and she said "...except Bonnie Raitt, who was the female I had been thinking of, and the only female I could think of so my feminism wasn't offended anymore as much as shocked at the truthfulness of the statement). So I gladly sent her the not-so-great pix (forgot the flash at home-oops) and a letter. She did write back a thank you note. So when I found out she was having a show on June 2nd, 1995, at Roseland Ballroom (in NYC) I got tickets and so did Fatin. Last minute (and I really mean last minute), I called and asked for a back-stage ticket and she gave me one!! I guess it was a return favor. (I forgot to ask for one for Fatin but more on that later). I was ecstatic.

Oh yeah, opening for her was this guy named Jeff Buckley whose picture I had seen on the cover of this really thick magazine whose name I can't remember (not something that's a well-known magazine), and Fatin had told me about him so I was curious and excited to see him too. We got to the show and I stood on line (Fatin with me) for the backstage pass and who should happen to be just a few people behind me but Mr. Dando himself who I had a big crush on at that time (it was b/c Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, the only other one to write me back about my 'zine after I met her after a Rock For Choice show and got backstage to ask her to speak to the newlly formed Gender Equities club at my school and gave her my 'zine too, sent me a 'zine that she was doing then -I think- about her love of Evan Dando and why and other things in her life that I won't mention). Fatin told me to go up to him but I couldn't and I didn't want to lose my place in line. Besides, if he was going to be backstage and I was too, we'd get to talk later.

So we went through the line and (the ticket guy was the same guy who had been at another show that I had free tix to but had forgotten my ID but had let me in anyway so this time I showed him my ID and said "see, I wasn't lying!") went inside, and I went to the platform stage for those with backstage passes and poor Fatin was on the side (I'm so sorry Fatin!) I watched Jeff's show and liked it but I wasn't totally paying attention to it b/c some women invited me to sit in a seat until their friends got back, and one of those friends was Janet Billig (she used to manage Nirvana, Hole, Evan, Smashing Pumpkins and signed them all-I think. She's now Vice-President of Atlantic Records at 29 and she's the one who Courtney Love said at one of her shows a couple of years ago, -paraphrasing here- "Don't fuck with Janet Billig cuz I'll have to fuck with you!" or something like that. There was an article about her in Spin I believe like 3 years ago - it was on my friend's wall), so I was really excited and nervous because this blond woman had come over and I had thought it was Janet so I kept switching my attention between her and Jeff (wasn't Janet by the way).

At the break between bands I went to the bathroom which was backstage (ran into Lewis Largent who used to host 120 Minutes before Matt Pinfield, who I had met at a previous show. Really really nice guy but very shy. He remembered me though!). Well, everyone went downstairs too, so that was weird and cool. I don't remeber this period to well but I do remember seeing Jules before she went on. After the bathroom I got on the corner of the side stage platform (can't really describe it sorry, but it was a very good spot to see the show) and danced through Jules entire set with my new friend Cristy (who looked a bit like Jules and was from Texas and her boyfriend who looked like Thurston Moore and worked at Reprise). After the set and before the encore I went back to the pit where Jules had just come off stage (was very easy then-they have since closed up that area :0( ) and watched her and Evan cutely give each other a big smooch (no tongue. by the way, Evan had a girlfriend who was tall and had brown hair and glasses and I think was his girlfriend. Sorry she wasn't the groupie type and not Mia Kirshner with whom Evan had just gone to her (MK's) opening for that movie she was in where she played a stripper who dressed in school girl outfits who this guy became obsessed with. haven't seen that girl -not MK- since) before Jules went back on for the encore.

After the show I wheedled the guard to let Fatin come backstage (right before that who should I knock into but PAUL MCCARTNEY!! and HIS WIFE! NO JOKE!!) even without a pass, and they let her. I was planning on taking her to meet him b/c I knew it would make her REALLY happy.

Well, we found Jeff looking passed out and sweating right by the stairs off the platform that go towards the backstage but not in the downstairs backstage part sitting on the floor drinking a water bottle and talking to some girl standing up. I said "Good show" he said "Thanks" and then I asked him if he knew where Jules was and he said probably downstairs. I said thanks and we left. Fatin couldn't say anything (I don't think) and at that moment I decided he was pretty cute and talented and I liked him too. Oy vey. Well, we went downstairs and looked for Jules and she told me about SDRE being on the Batman Soundtrack and I gave her my new 'zine issue and she said thanks and went back to talking to her friends. She is very shy and not too comfortable with people she doesn't know, but when she's with her friends she's really comfortable it seems and outgoing and fun. Well, Fatin and I floated around like lost (if you don't know anyone in the biz- and I do mean the business side of it, it can be really uncomfortable and boring) souls, although I talked to Tanya Donnelly (wearing a very cute and cool outfit I remember. Very nice WOMAN, 5 feet tall just like me). I then remember going over to wear Jeff was talking to some chicks with Fatin and we talked to him, standing not two feet from him. He was flirting completely. He gave me a water bottle (he was drinking one too and I asked him where he got it and he just handed me one. I had forgotten that Fatin and I had bought one earlier but oh well, I'll take a water bottle from Jeff anytime, even if I'm drowning), and I lit a cigarette (Newport). He said "Ooh, Menthol" and shared the cigarette with me!! A little later Evan Dando came by and wanted a cigarette and looked to Jeff who looked at and pointed to me and I gave Evan a cigarette and lit it for him off of mine! It was a miracle I seriously believe that I actually lit the cigarette and not something else! Hell, with Jeff and Evan standing around paying atttention to you, wouldn't you have missed? I didn't thank g-d!)

Well Evan left us and he said something really weird like "yeah, i pretended i just did coke" or something like that. don't quote me on that ok? (Evan has a really weird sense of humor. You know that sense of humor where you know you should say something in response but you just aren't on that wavelength yet and you just don't get where they are coming from -much like my sense of humor, which is a big part of the reason that Fatin and I became friends- well that's what Evan's sense of humor is like). The other two women who were hanging in our little circle I don't remember much except one who was tall, thin, black, and looked REALLY familiar, but I still don't know where from! No she wasn't a model (although Melissa auf der Maur was there too - and flirting a bit with Jeff or trying to be near him so no Courtney didn't lie that she had a crush on him - and I knew she looked really familiar but I couldn't figure it out where I knew her from so I thought she was a model till it dawned on me who it was). Well, this particular girl had a broken arm and I asked her how it happened and our Jeff quiped "Masturbating accident." Heehee. He's got a great sense of humor I think.

Well, guess what happened just after that? The clock struck 12:30am (Fatin and I both had Achievement tests to take the next morning!! argh! so we had to be out of there by 12:30) and my MOM came down!! No joke (unfortunately)!! You should have seen the look on Jeff's face when he saw her (and mine!) We had to leave and so I like turned and grabbed his arm with my hand behind my back and said (somewhat jokingly) "No! Don't make me go!" And so we left. I don't blush but I sure as hell was after that (well, it wasn't as bad as when my dad came looking for me after the Pearl Jam show-but that's a whole 'nother story!). Oh, my mom told me later that when she tried to get in (we had agreed to meet at the front doors but they were locked so my 'rents went around to the back doors where a shitload of kids were standing outside with guards and a security block thing, and the guards originally wouldn't let my mom in but then she said that she had a sixteen year old in there -whoa! I was 16!?!? forgot about that!- who had to take the SAT's tomorrow and he let her in - why?!?! - to the jealousy of all the kids outside! When she went downstairs, somebody looked at her and said "uh oh party's over" and my mom replied "do I look that much like a mom?" to which they then replied "uh huh!"). Then we went home and I've been unhappily ever after ever since. Until Lollapalooza.....

But that's Part 2 of the "How I Met Jeff Story" which I'm going to have to write another time because I've been happily procrastinating for way too long now. The last of the name-dropping of that night is that I think Eric Erlandson was there too but not with Drew and only for a short time if he was.

write me if you have any comments, questions, etc.

love to everybody,